Torn (Thornton Brothers Book 4) Read online

  His eyes were closed, his head leaning back, his face tilted to the light. Shadows danced in the hollows of his features, shielding his expression. It would have been so easy to reach across and touch him. So easy to ignite the feelings that jolted between us like lightning. Although the state of our relationship had changed, my feelings for him hadn’t. The need to touch him, the need to have him touch me was as strong as it had ever been. As if sensing my eyes on him, Tyler opened his and my heart raced as his gaze fell from my eyes to my lips. His eyes darkened with desire and he moved towards me, his body about to trap mine when Gabe sauntered in.

  7

  LAUREN

  “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” Gabe teased as Tyler quickly moved away from me.

  Disappointment crept across my chest. Disappointment and annoyance. I shouldn’t be so easily swayed by seeing Tyler shirtless. Placing his foot between us, Gabe sunk into the water, wrapping his arms around us both, grinning stupidly until Tyler stood, water streaming down his body, and climbed out.

  “Don’t leave on my account,” Gabe called after him. But Tyler didn’t reply. Instead, only wet footprints were left behind. “That guy has zero chill,” Gabe said, his arm still wrapped around my shoulder. “I hope you two weren’t talking about your relationship. It’s against the rules. I, on the other hand, would never defy the rules by talking. Besides, there are things other than talking which I’d far rather engage you in.”

  Physically lifting Gabe’s arm away, I sighed. “Why do you have to taunt him like that?”

  “Like what?” Gabe appeared genuinely confused. “You were mine first, Lauren. That makes him the bad guy, not me.” Gabe locked his hands behind his head, eyes sparkling. “Now you’re not with either of us, and I don’t know about Tyler, but I’d like the chance to change your mind.”

  I remained silent beside him, my mind still stuck on Tyler and the desire to run after him.

  “I know you still have feelings for me, Lauren,” Gabe said.

  “I’m not having this conversation again.” I stood, ready to leave Gabe alone in the pool, but Gabe stood too, his eyes travelling over my body now that it was exposed and out of the water. “I miss you. I miss us.” He reached out, just the tip of his finger trailing over my arm, following a drip of water. “I miss the way you feel under—”

  “Gabe, please,” I said, stopping him before he said words he couldn’t take back. Words I didn’t want to hear. “You’re making—” But I was interrupted by Jake ducking low to enter the cave. He held up his hands when Gabe scowled in his direction.

  “Tyler told me I had to.”

  “And since when do you listen to Tyler?”

  Jake shrugged, his back pressed to the walls of the man-made cave, shoulders hunched and looking entirely out of place. “Since I had nothing better to do.” He looked over, watching as I wrapped a towel around my shoulders. “You alright?”

  “Of course I’m alright,” I replied, a little more annoyance in my voice than I intended. “I’m fine.”

  “Fine,” Jake repeated, eyebrows lifting.

  “See?” Gabe said. “She’s fine.” Gabe leaned over the edge of the pool. “We were actually just going to partake in some forbidden activities before you so rudely interrupted us.” He held up a clear plastic bag, the green leafed contents leaving nothing to the imagination. “Care to join?”

  Jake looked over at me. “Don’t leave on my account.”

  “I was leaving anyway.”

  “Oh, come on, Mrs Robinson,” Gabe said, a grin covering his face at the use of the old nickname. “Break free. Have a little fun. Or did being with Tyler all that time make you forget how?”

  Jake pulled himself from the wall. “You don’t have to ask me twice. Lauren?” he asked once he was waist deep, the water creating a dark line across the shirt covering his stomach. “You can’t tell me that the offer doesn’t tempt you?” Jake lowered himself so he was sitting in the water, stretching his arms out along the edge of the pool like both his brothers before him. “I won’t tell Tyler.”

  “I don’t care if you tell Tyler, it’s just that…” I let my words trail off. It was just that I didn’t want to be alone with Gabe? That despite not being with Tyler, I was still letting him influence my choices? I let my towel drop to the floor. “Move over,” I said to Jake, choosing to sit next to him rather than Gabe.

  The state of blissful contentment that took over a few minutes later was exactly what I needed. I forgot about Tyler’s body so close to mine. I forgot about his scowl when Gabe entered the cave. I let go of why I was there and simply enjoyed being there. Although Gabe tried to slide around the side of the pool to sit beside me, Jake made a game of blocking him, insisting that he had promised Tyler to cock-block Gabe with each attempt. Thankfully, probably due to a previously inhaled substance, Gabe found this funny and it wasn’t until the swirling steam of the room convinced us it was difficult to breathe, that we left.

  The cold night air bit into my skin and I wrapped the towel tighter around my shoulders, falling behind the two brothers as they climbed the narrow steps back up the hill to the house.

  Tyler sat outside, staring at the blank phone in his hands. He caught my hand as I passed, his fingers wrapping gently around my wrist. A breath caught in my throat at the sensation that bolted through my body, freezing me in place just as it had done every time before.

  “Did he touch you?” Tyler’s voice was rough.

  “Tut, tut, tut,” Hillis’s voice called out the window. “That sounds suspiciously like a conversation involving some issues.”

  Gabe’s grin stuck out like a light bulb behind him.

  “Time for bed people, and remember, although I will not be sharing in the same intimate circle as you, I will still be listening to every word spoken during the night. In order for you to gain the most from this experience, you must adhere to the rules.”

  Tyler’s grip on my wrist dropped, but his eyes still scanned my face, searching for any clue of my response in my expression. I let my gaze fall to the ground. I didn’t owe him an explanation. After silently waiting, Tyler sighed and walked towards the house, letting me fall into step behind him.

  Gabe and Jake stood in the kitchen, a cupboard open behind them and a bag of marshmallows on the table. Jake’s fist dove into the bag and returned with a handful of sticky sweetness, popping them one at a time into his mouth. He chewed and swallowed under Tyler’s glare, and then offered him the bag. “How many?” he asked.

  “How many what?” Tyler replied, grumpily.

  “How many can you fit in your mouth?”

  “Challenge accepted!” Gabe yelled, grabbing for the bag. “How many of these things do we have? I’ll go first. One,” he counted. The numbers grew more mumbled as he shoved marshmallow after marshmallow in his mouth.

  Jake lifted a single brow in Tyler’s direction, the signature move of the Thornton men.

  “Not in the mood,” Tyler replied to his unspoken question.

  “Are you ever?” Gabe garbled, a marshmallow popping out of his mouth. “That doesn’t count!” he half yelled, half mumbled, shoving the offending sweet back in.

  Tyler walked out of the room, throwing me a look over his shoulder I couldn’t decipher as Gabe continued to shove more marshmallows into his mouth until saliva began to fall. He spat the marshmallows into the sink. “Seven. Fuck, I thought I would do better than that.”

  Jake looked at the sticky mess. “I can do more.”

  “Like hell, you can.” Gabe turned to me. “You going to try?”

  “What the fuck?” The curse word sounded funny on Hillis’ lips. Unnatural. Briefly, I wondered if it was what I sounded like when I swore. “Well, there goes tomorrow night’s campfire activity.”

  Gabe did his best to look guilty, but he ended up simply laughing. “Sorry, man, I didn’t know you were saving them for something.”

  Hillis snatched the bag out of Jake’s hand. “Everything on this t
rip is planned for the best outcome. I do not appreciate you messing with things.”

  “I’m sorry,” Jake offered, plucking marshmallows out of his mouth. “I didn’t realise these little guys meant so much to you.”

  “It’s not the marshmallows.” Hillis let out a frustrated sigh that was much too serious, and I had to swallow the splutter of laughter that threatened. “It’s the fact that you have zero respect for the work I do. Your father has just spent thirty days in rehab, attempting to put his life back together, and you boys come along and act as though this is all a joke. How do you think that makes him feel after all the hard work he’s put in?” Hillis stood, arms planted firmly on his hips, his glare altering between Gabe and Jake.

  “Shit,” Gabe said. “I didn’t realise Dad’s life was that bad. I mean, from all the overseas trips, the fancy houses, the company and all, I figured he had his shit sorted. Thank goodness you’re here to correct me.”

  Jake snorted and a marshmallow shot out of his mouth, landing on the indignant face of Hillis. Jake froze, waiting for Hillis’ reaction before bursting into laughter. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to mallow your face.” He swiped at the offending marshmallow, but it stuck to Hillis’ skin.

  “Bed. Now,” Hillis stated calmly, despite the puff of pink stuck to his cheek. He pulled it off, leaving a sticky residue in its wake.

  After changing in the bathroom, I padded across the wooden floor and tucked my clothing inside my pack, ready to be worn again the next day. Supplies were strictly limited. Billie watched me from across the room, her wide-eyed expression following my movements in the dim light.

  “It’s good,” she said to no one in particular. “This is good. This is good,” she repeated, tossing and turning. “I am comfortable in my surroundings. I am happy and at peace with myself.”

  “I am shit at talking under my breath,” Gabe added, mocking her tone.

  Laying down on my mattress with my head turned towards Gabe, his teeth shone at me through his grin. “Hey, Mrs Robinson,” he whispered.

  I turned over, only to be met by Tyler’s gaze. It had always amazed me how much he could say without opening his mouth, and as I lay there, eyes locked on his in the semi-darkness, his intention was clear and the familiar feeling of arousal began to warm my insides. Feeling the heat creep into my cheeks, I snuggled down into my sleeping bag, tucked my head under the covers and shielded myself from exposing the thoughts racing through my head.

  8

  LAUREN

  I didn’t know I had a fear of heights until I attempted rock climbing. It had never struck me before. Not when witnessing Peta leap off the edge of a bridge with nothing more than a bungee cord tied to her feet. Not when looking out the window of a high-rise building. Not when climbing the scaffolding of the casino. Not when leaning over the edge of the railing while Tyler held me in place and did—well, did things I didn’t want to think about in my present state, but after taking those first few steps up the rock wall, even with Tyler being the one gripping the rope that held me, I found myself frozen.

  “You can do it,” Hillis said firmly, as if, somehow, his tone could overrule my fear. “Just lift your hand up and a little to the right and you will find the next grip.”

  I shook my head, my heart beating out of my chest, and then stopped as soon as I realised the movement made me even more unstable. “I don’t want to do this anymore,” I said.

  “I’ve got you,” Tyler called out gently. “You just have to trust me.”

  Even in my frightened state, the irony of his statement still amused me.

  “Don’t look down,” Billie yelled from the safety of the ground. “Look up. Look at Jake.”

  I attempted to do as she said and lifted my head. The rock stretched before me in what seemed like an endless slope of vertical grey. Jake waved from the top, crunching down on an apple, his hair piled in a loose bun on the top of his head.

  “Come on, Lauren. It’s easy,” Jake called out, his words muffled by apple.

  “Easy for you to say,” I yelled back, and then gripped tighter to the rock as a wave of vertigo washed over. I closed my eyes and started to breathe deeply. There was simply nothing I could do. I was stuck a mere six feet off the ground.

  Jake had made it look simple. While Hillis was taking us through the safety precautions, listing the equipment we would need, the steps we would follow, Jake had approached the cliff and began to hoist himself from point to point, at times only hanging by his fingertips.

  Hillis had yelled at him to come down, but Jake had merely laughed and scaled his way to the top, pulling himself over the ledge and looking back down at us as we worked ourselves into the harnesses.

  “I’ve probably done more rock climbing in one day than you’ve done in your life,” he called back down to Hillis.

  “There are procedures in place for a reason,” Hillis called back, his usually ruddy cheeks turning an even brighter shade of red.

  “Okay,” Jake called out in reply. “I’ll just be up here waiting while you enforce them.”

  Hillis picked me first. I had thought the look of sheer terror on my face might persuade him to choose someone else, but no such luck.

  I gripped the rock with my entire body, well, that’s what it felt like, anyway. I hovered as close to the cliff as possible, trying not to think about the tenuous placement of my fingers or the fragile holds of my feet. Technically, I knew if I fell, Tyler’s rope would hold me in place. There was no way he would ever let me fall to the ground, but that didn’t stop my brain from imagining every possible scenario of how that rope would fail. When what strength I had left began to fade, I couldn’t help the tears that slipped out. Despite telling myself otherwise, I was quite literally frozen with fear. Risking a glance down, I met Tyler’s eyes and mouthed out the word help.

  “I need someone to take this,” Tyler said, looking to the rest of his family.

  “You are Lauren’s assigned support. To give your position to someone else would be to—”

  “Oh shut the fuck up,” Tyler growled. “Just take my fucking place so I can go help her.”

  Hillis’ face turned beet red but he didn’t back down. “Lauren needs to learn how to deal with this situation herself and control her fear. This is exactly what I was talking about in therapy through adventure. It forces us to—”

  “Help!” I wailed. I was doing a terrible job at controlling my fear. Rather than dissipating, it was increasing. My heart jumped sporadically inside my chest. My hands were sweaty and sticky and I was certain I was going to lose my grip at any moment.

  “I’ve got this,” Gabe said. I felt—rather than watched—him take the few steps below me until his body encased mine, forming a wall, shielding me from both the height and the fall. “It’s okay,” he whispered in my ear. “I’ve got you. We’re going to do this together.”

  “I can’t.” My voice trembled. My foot slipped, but Gabe reached out and grabbed my thigh, giving me something to lean against.

  “One step at a time and we can do this.”

  “I can lower her back down to the ground if she just leans into the rope,” Tyler shouted from below.

  Gabe’s hand slid down the back of my thigh. “We’re going to start with this leg first, okay?”

  I nodded, comforted by the security of his body, and lowered myself cautiously, ready to freeze again at the slightest scare. Gabe stayed with me, whispering words of encouragement, and allowing me to lean on him for support until, after what seemed like an eternity, my feet reached solid ground.

  Billie clapped me on the back. “You did it!” she said excitedly as I dropped to my knees, wanting to be as close to the safety of the ground as possible.

  “She did not do it,” Hillis corrected. “She came back down. The purpose of the activity was to…” Hillis’ voice faded to nothing as Tyler approached, anger clearly flashing over his expression.

  “Enjoyed that, did you?”

  “Excuse me?” I aske
d, my hand over my heart as the pounding slowly subsided.

  “Is that why you came? To mock me?”

  “Excuse me?” I stuttered again, not quite believing the words that came out of his mouth.

  “You heard me. Was that display purely to piss me off?”

  I shook my head, my thoughts scattered and not comprehending. In my mind, part of me was still stuck on that cliff. “I never—”

  “Well, mission accomplished, Lauren. I’m officially fucked off.”

  Tyler jerked the remainder of the rope through the carabiner and let it fall to the ground. The muscles of his body were strained, the threads of his neck tight.

  Bending down beside me, Gabe rested his arm across my shoulders. “And how fare thee now, sweet damsel?”

  Instead of answering, I watched the set of Tyler’s shoulders as he strode away, shrugging off Gabe’s affection.

  “What’s pissed him off now?” Gabe asked.

  I shook my head, unable and unwilling to answer.

  * * *

  After lunch, our next scheduled activity was the silent trek to the campsite we were to stay at for the night. At first, the thought of a silent trek worried me. It seemed awkward and stupid, walking for hours without talking, but after Tyler’s recent outburst over my supposed behaviour, the silence was welcome, despite being punctuated by Billie’s heavy sighs.

  Billie’s positivity for the weekend had dramatically dropped over the past few hours. It started with her complaining how uncomfortable her mattress was and cumulated in her refusal to even attempt rock climbing. The image of me pressed against the wall, harness digging into my butt, sweat dripping from my ghostly-pale forehead, may have had something to do with it. And then the realisation that tonight would be spent on the ground with nothing to shield us but a roll of thin foam and our sleeping bags, was almost too much for Billie. When she thought of an adventure weekend, roughing it in tents had never occurred to her. I’m not sure what exactly she thought we would do, but I imagined it was more along the lines of a spa weekend, despite their lack of adventure.